Me and now my ex have broken up 1 month and 32 days ago. We have been together for over 5 years and she told me that she liked being alone, time to read, and have time to herself. She told me that she loved me for what I have done for her, and all this other stuff, but what really stood out was "maybe this isn’t enough" I don’t know if she said in the heat of the moment or if she really meant it. She has recently been talking to me, but it seems as if it is only when she is in need of something. I know she is over it cause my cousin saw her at the movie theater with some guy.
What I need is advice on how people over come hard break ups. I know it sounds really dumb and pathetic, but she was all I knew and what I put my focus on. I feel like I don’t want to be with her if somehow she asks to be together again because I don’t want to feel like this. Yet, I still care for her and shes is always in my thoughts. I recently moved to the other side of the country, but she knew I was going to be back very soon. Should I try to get her back, and if so how should I go about that? Thank you and I really appreciate the advice. This is really hard for me and I want to get over this and be back to normal.
I have recently gone through a similar break up. I suddenly had lots of time on my hands and so I did some research on how to get over her. This is the stuff I found to be most useful.
1) Do NOT call her. Break off contact. Maybe you can be friends later, but not right now and not in the near future.
2) Seriously. Don’t call. If she calls, tell her you need space and then don’t answer.
3) Realize that you can’t really get back together unless you are over her. Otherwise you will always carry this hurt with you and it will just end badly for both of you.
4) Also realize that you probably should not get back together. You broke up for a reason. Missing her is not enough of a reason to get back together.
5) Realize that she is not coming back. This one was the hardest for me. When we broke up I was constantly checking my phone and my e-mail, hoping to hear her say she had made a mistake and wanted me back.
Now for the fun stuff:
6) Go OUTSIDE and EXERCISE! This is not optional. Exercise is proven to alleviate stress and sadness. Plus, getting (back) into shape is a great self-esteem booster.
7) Spend time with your friends and family. Chances are, if you were really committed to this person, you probably ignored your friends. Time to reconnect or make new ones.
Talk about your feelings, again with friends and family. Don’t bottle your feelings up, but be careful to not let it dominate your conversations. Friends are there to listen, but they’re also there for fun!
9) Realize that it’s okay to be sad when sad things happen. Accept that you are going to feel pain, but that this pain will not last forever, and it doesn’t have to control your life.
10) Again, realize that this pain is temporary. One day, you will wake up and notice that you’re okay. That you haven’t thought about her lately and that there is more to life than her.
11) Don’t set a date for this to happen. You will likely be setting yourself up for disappointment. It will take as long as it takes, but if you’re proactive about it, not as long as you’d think. It will likely sneak up on you.
12) Be good to yourself. Now is the time to focus on you. Think about all the things you are able to do now that she is out of your life. Think about how wonderful your next relationship will be, now that you’ve had the experience from this one.
Lastly, the one thing that helped me through some hard times was to remind myself that it gets better. Today was hard, but tomorrow will be a little easier.
Relationship Advice : How to Break Up With Your Live-in Boyfriend
I have recently gone through a similar break up. I suddenly had lots of time on my hands and so I did some research on how to get over her. This is the stuff I found to be most useful.
1) Do NOT call her. Break off contact. Maybe you can be friends later, but not right now and not in the near future.
2) Seriously. Don’t call. If she calls, tell her you need space and then don’t answer.
3) Realize that you can’t really get back together unless you are over her. Otherwise you will always carry this hurt with you and it will just end badly for both of you.
4) Also realize that you probably should not get back together. You broke up for a reason. Missing her is not enough of a reason to get back together.
5) Realize that she is not coming back. This one was the hardest for me. When we broke up I was constantly checking my phone and my e-mail, hoping to hear her say she had made a mistake and wanted me back.
Now for the fun stuff:
Talk about your feelings, again with friends and family. Don’t bottle your feelings up, but be careful to not let it dominate your conversations. Friends are there to listen, but they’re also there for fun!
6) Go OUTSIDE and EXERCISE! This is not optional. Exercise is proven to alleviate stress and sadness. Plus, getting (back) into shape is a great self-esteem booster.
7) Spend time with your friends and family. Chances are, if you were really committed to this person, you probably ignored your friends. Time to reconnect or make new ones.
9) Realize that it’s okay to be sad when sad things happen. Accept that you are going to feel pain, but that this pain will not last forever, and it doesn’t have to control your life.
10) Again, realize that this pain is temporary. One day, you will wake up and notice that you’re okay. That you haven’t thought about her lately and that there is more to life than her.
11) Don’t set a date for this to happen. You will likely be setting yourself up for disappointment. It will take as long as it takes, but if you’re proactive about it, not as long as you’d think. It will likely sneak up on you.
12) Be good to yourself. Now is the time to focus on you. Think about all the things you are able to do now that she is out of your life. Think about how wonderful your next relationship will be, now that you’ve had the experience from this one.
Lastly, the one thing that helped me through some hard times was to remind myself that it gets better. Today was hard, but tomorrow will be a little easier.
References :
Here’s the two sources I found the most helpful:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lora-somoza/7-ways-to-survive-a-break_b_212753.html